Winter Depression

The weather has got me down. It’s frosty every morning, and seems harder to leave the house when the world outside is so unwelcoming.  Yet, day after day, I go out and face it. Christmas is coming up, and I think this will be the last year that I give presents. It doesn’t seem like anyone else I know is taking the tradition seriously, so  I’ve lost enthusiasm for it. People used to talk about the stress of the holidays, so in theory, not participating in it should remove the strain.
People also say that winters’ cool/dark weather causes depression. The sun sets early in winter, so most working people get very little sunlight in a normal week day.      My office building doesn’t have windows on the main floor, so it’s possible for me to arrive before the sun light touches down, and leave just after the sun sets. Creating the illusion of momentary daylight and/or perpetual darkness.  I can see how living in such gloom could cause mental instability, coupled with social pressures to be jolly and festive, it’s a marvel  that people are able to remain calm for the duration of it.
It appears that I wake up every day in darkness, leave my house in twilight, go to work all day, travel again at dusk, and spend all my free time trying to run errands in the cold night-time. I am not sure how other people are functioning.    Perhaps  I have already lost my mind, and this experience is what dementia feels like.
I generally don’t devote much time to social behaviors or maintaining relationships, and  still, it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish basic seasonal tasks.
My growing disinterest with the social practices of our consumer culture leaves me with just enough time to be an eccentric hermit.  Which I’ve learned can be accomplished with just a few hours of tomfoolery on the weekend.
It’s not a joyous existence, but it’s better than nothing.


Happy-Sad about the Holidays

The holiday-fever seems to get more extreme with each passing year. I saw full sections of Christmas merchandise for sale as early as Halloween.  I often wonder why no other holidays get the same reaction.  Halloween also has iconic mascots, tradition, and marketability, but there are no parades  for it, or societal pressures to be enthusiastic about it. Many people don’t even bother to dress up for it; no clothing or decorations to signify holiday participation. I’ve always enjoyed Christmas lights, so premature holiday decorations have never bothered me. It feels like the  darkness of winter is less gloomy when bright playful lights adorn the buildings. I’ve never found them to be ‘merry’ but I do find the change of scenery to be entertaining. Any change at all is welcome.

My area has a Christmas faire in downtown, which appears to have outgrown its inner-city park location. Spilling out into nearby areas, causing traffic/pedestrian overcrowding.   The event made a world record for its quantity of decorated trees this year.   So either people really like Christmas, or they just  like street carnivals; or most likely, they just like a change of scenery.
That being said, the office where I work is managed by an individual who is hell-bent on Never celebrating any holiday. We are presently less than 3.5 weeks from Christmas, and every store everywhere has their holiday displays out in full force, but this office [inside and out] is deceptively barren.
I’m fairly certain that I’m the only person working here who still has the nervous energy to be upset with the management. Everyone else is submissive to the antiquated views of the boss-man. It’s Not a disgusting/arduous place to work, but it’s just no fun at all. The blandness breaks a person, like being locked in an insane asylum, white walls everyday, while the holidays are happening outside without me .