People Don’t Change: this is you

The way you do 1 thing, is the way you do all things.
If you like a  [insert an adjective: creative/modest/hectic/messy/tidy/unadventurous] home, you’re a [adjective]  person, your work environment is also [adjective], Everything you do will be [adjective].
People don’t change. People lie to themselves about situations where they could potentially change, but they always fall short.

I have a dear friend, who is a slob. Years ago, when I first met them, they were this way, and now, years later they are still this way.   They lie to themselves, and to everyone else, saying things like, “when this happens, I’ll be totally different”.  But people don’t change.  This friend has traversed many life milestones, yet their behaviors have stayed the same throughout.
Trusting that you’ll be proficient at something that you’ve never put into practice   is delusion.   No one wakes up suddenly and has an innate desire to be dramatically different; people are obstinate, and it takes time and training to learn new habits.

I have a different friend who preaches about being a traditionalist-at-heart, but his life is the exact opposite of this; he’s actually a Nonconformist in every way.  He doesn’t have a traditional home, he doesn’t have a traditional career, he doesn’t sleep or eat or behave in traditional ways. He preaches about what a romantic he is, but in 47-yrs has never been in a long-term relationship.  He just likes to lie to himself and others about the type of person he is.

I have other friends that also like to lie to their dates.
They lie about being more interesting than they actually are,  having more hobbies or more talent; being more successful or more conservative. They have no reason to lie about these things, since their dates are new acquaintances with no preconceived notions, but they do it anyway, risking the possibility  that their date may figure out the truth; in essence, setting themselves up for failure.

People appreciate honesty, but Being honest with oneself is just as difficult. Self-confidence plays a role, so does denial, procrastination, humor, presentation. ect.
Question your own behaviors to see if they even remotely align with how you’ve been picturing yourself.
Do imagine yourself to be more generous than you actually are?  More kind? More social?
If you wanted to change yourself, could you? -Or would you most likely continue being  the same person  you are now?


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