I’m getting to the age where everyone asks if I’m getting married at every occasion possible. It’s a nuisance because I am nowhere close to getting married. So obviously, now feels like a good time to be objective about the social perceptions of weddings.
– Is it fair to say that weddings are a scam, because the location and style of the wedding will not affect how I feel about my spouse? – I would be happy to get married anywhere, with a similar level of enthusiasm as I would be happy to vacation anywhere. If the company is good, it’ll be fine.
I think people like to have their wedding at glamorous locations just for the WOW factor. But weddings don’t actually require guests, so those weddings are for narcissism. Some religious formalities don’t include dancing or wine; so if the theme is dutiful-pious, then the whole thing could be done in 10 minutes [prayer, vows, paperwork]. After all, getting married is easy, staying married till death do us part is harder.
But people still usually go for classy-extravagance style weddings, just to make a big event out of it. & Force their friends and loved ones to travel distances, and buy nicer clothing.
Of course, None of it will matter if the person you’re marrying isn’t passionate about being married.
I firmly believe that modern day people tend to get married for the wrong reasons, and/or expect too much from the union. Societal pressure, or religious expectation; confusing lust with love, or financial strain; emotional dependence, or insecurity. Most people aren’t mentally prepared for married life, and struggle with the spouse-self life-balance afterward.
I saw a Shakespeare play recently; As You Like It, and in the final scene there’s a wedding where 4 couples are married in one ceremony. Rosalind to Orlando, the jester to Audrey, the shepherd to the shepherdess, and Celia to Oliver. The wedding ceremony is brief and afterward all the characters gleefully renaissance dance in a circle.
– Perhaps it was a simpler time, and people were happier with their choices because of their shorter lifespans. Perhaps marriage was informal back then, so people committed to it nonchalantly. Or perhaps people were just aware that the ceremony is less important as the spousal commitment itself [which doesn’t explain why they’d get married having known each other less than a week].
Fast forward 400 years,
There’s a tv show on Netflix right now called Cheapest Weddings, where Australian couples economize their wedding spending. About half of the couples are doing this because of other priority life expenses, and the other half because of a previous divorce [no sense in having an elaborate wedding for a marriage that might not last].
Most of these ‘cheap’ weddings still cost ~$5k, and resemble a regular party.
Just thinking about organizing a extravagant event is a headache. And not even in my imagination will it ever be as fun or themed as want it to be.
Specialty event costs are high, because no one owns a restaurant that already offers the location, catering, tables, and chairs. Which means that each and every thing has to be hired out individually.
Easiest-case scenario is a restaurant party thrown beside a seasonal event. Ideally, a faire or festival, or something of a similar themed ambiance. At least that way, the entertainment and decorations are taken care of. Buy dinner and drinks for the family at a restaurant, and then release them all into the festival. No fuss.